


Jackalopes, fact or fiction?

by tyjo21



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Everyone Is Gay, F/F, M/M, groupchat, im so sorry i abandoned this fic but it just aint happening folks, jace is by himself but hes okay probably, text, this is another groupchat fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-30
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-10-25 15:08:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 3,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10766772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tyjo21/pseuds/tyjo21
Summary: a groupchat between the shadowhunters and downworlders is made. hijinks occur.





	1. jackalopes

**Author's Note:**

> hello and welcome to my first fic, im your host Big Gay. tonights show: a groupchat fic about the antics of the shadowhunters and co. takes place within the tv show universe since i got bored halfway through the third book. i do not own any of the characters etc etc. have fun kiddos.

**simonsays named the group chat: jackalopes, fact or fiction?**

**jaceplace:** what the hell

 **bowboy:** why are we questioning the validity of jackalopes 

**artoftheblade:** because they’re obviously not real

 **jaceplace:** wait what

 **artoftheblade:** ………..

 **simonsays:** jace,

 **bowboy:** dude

 **jaceplace:** what do you mean

 **jaceplace:** clary you drew a jackalope the other day

 **artoftheblade:** just because I drew one doesn’t make it real dude

**jaceplace left the conversation.**

**simonsays:** bruh.

 **bowboy:** jace just came into my room and is laying on the floor thanks guys

 **artoftheblade:** simon is also on the floor but hes dying of laughter

 **artoftheblade:** hes screaming

 **artoftheblade:** Raphael just came in to yell at him

 **bowboy:** its what he deserves –jace

**artoftheblade added jaceplace to the conversation.**

**jaceplace:** i don’t want this,,,,

 **bowboy:** hes still laying on the floor 

**jaceplace:** its nice down here alec

 **coolwhip:** why is jace on the floor

 **bowboy:** he had a jackalope crisis

 **coolwhip:** i only left for like 2 hours and This is what i come back to

 **bowboy:** to be fair, simon started it

 **simonsays:** i did no such thing

 **coolwhip:** anyways,

 **coolwhip:** i have food whos in

 **coolwhip:** guys?

 **bowboy:** the lack of response should be telling

 **coolwhip:** I bought it from out you big babies

 **simonsays:** we’ll be over in 10!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed the first chapter. theres more to come :^). these are based off of Real Life Events in a groupchat with my friends so the subject matter can 100% happen. kudos and comments are appreciated. find me on tumblr or twitter- pnkbat


	2. home alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome back. this chapter is where the gay begins. enjoy.

**simonsays:** GUYS

**simonsays:** RAPHAEL LEFT AND MOST OF THE CLAN IS GONE 

**simonsays:** DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS

**simonsays:** IM HOMO ALONE

**simonsays:** HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**simonsays:** also im pan hey everyone

**jaceplace added raphael.santiago to the conversation.**

**jaceplace:** look what you’ve done

**simonsays:** JACE WHY 

**raphael.santiago left the conversation.**

**jaceplace:** dang not even a word

**simonsays:** he left for a meeting with the other downworlder leaders BOI

**jaceplace:** yike

**artoftheblade:** boys please its 11pm some of us are trying to sleep

**simonsays:** sleep? i don’t know her

**bowboy:** clary 11pm is early

**coolwhip:** old lady!!!

**artoftheblade:** im blocking all of you

**bowboy:** that’s fine with me

**jaceplace:** roasted

**artoftheblade:** hhhhhhhhh

**simonsays:** back to the matter at hand,

**simonsays:** im home alone What Do I Do

**bowboy:** practice not talking

**simonsays:** …

**jaceplace:** dang alecs on a roll today

**simonsays:** please im s o b o r e d

**coolwhip:** try making some snacks and then inevitably blow up the kitchen

**jaceplace:** that’s only you izzy

**simonsays:** you guys are no help

**jaceplace:** you really expected anything helpful to come out of this

**simonsays:** not in the slightest

**artoftheblade:** goodnight losers

**simonsays:** goodmorning clary!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as previously stated i base this off of real life events and this one is a pun i texted my best friend at 1am. he didnt appreciate as much as i did. next chapter on tuesday probably :)


	3. good+okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> early update! well. its 10pm. but its earlier than i planned!

**bowboy:** okay who invited magnus to the institute??????

**coolwhip:** hes probably here on business calm down alec

**simonsays:** aw is bowboy getting flustered around the sparkly warlock

**bowboy:** i can ban you from the institute you know

**simonsays:** but you wouldnt :^)

**bowboy:** shit hes walking towards me 

**artoftheblade:** cant wait to see how this goes down

**jaceplace:** i can see them from where i am lemme get that Play By Play

**simonsays:** sweet

**jaceplace:** magnus is being his usual suave self

**jaceplace:** i cant tell what theyre saying

**jaceplace:** okay magnus just asked him something

**coolwhip:** ?????????!!!!!!!!!!

**jaceplace:** alec got all flustered as usual

**jaceplace:** magnus just started laughing

**jaceplace:** now alec is walking away at a high speed

**simonsays:** zooms

**artoftheblade:** so what happened ??

**bowboy:** i crave the sweet release of death

**simonsays:** its not that sweet

**jaceplace:** what happened this time

**bowboy:** he asked me how my day has been

**coolwhip:** is that all?

**bowboy:** i didnt know whether to say ‘good’ or ‘okay’

**artoftheblade:** aaaaaand???

**bowboy:** …….

**bowboy:** i got nervous and said gay

**simonsays:** SKJGHSKSKSHSFDFSJHG

**artoftheblade:** ohm y god

**jaceplace:** THATS WHY YOU WALKED AWAY SO FAST

**coolwhip:** oh noooooooooo big brother

**simonsays:** yo does anyone have magnus’s @

**coolwhip added glitterboy to the conversation.**

**bowboy:** FUCK

**glitterboy:** you have quite a way with words alexander

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter was so funny to write i hope y'all liked it.


	4. home alone part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update!! i have to tell y'all that my stage name, Big Gay, was not created by me but in fact by my friend. i gave him $2 for it.

**simonsays:** raphael left me homo alone again its been HOURS

 **jaceplace:** that was only good the first time

 **simonsays:** im still gonna use it tho

 **artoftheblade:** u want us to come over?

 **glitterboy:** Only adult supervised playdates are allowed. -Raphael

 **simonsays:** :(

 **jaceplace:** i forgot magnus was in this chat

 **bowboy:** why is raphael at magnus’s

 **glitterboy:** no need to worry dear, only visiting with an old friend~

 **simonsays:** hA

 **bowboy:** i wasnt worried,,,,,,,,

 **coolwhip:** alec is an adult he can supervise 

**simonsays:** yeah!

 **bowboy:** no,

 **glitterboy:** raphael also said no

 **simonsays:** im gonna fight him

 **jaceplace:** no youre not

 **artoftheblade:** no youre not

 **coolwhip:** no youre not

 **bowboy:** no youre not

 **glitterboy:** Sure. Let’s go, fledgeling. -Raphael

 **simonsays:** y’know, on second thought,

 **glitterboy:** he just left 

**simonsays:** fuck

 **coolwhip:** well it was nice knowing you simon

 **bowboy:** meh

 **simonsays:** wow even when im on my second deathbed youre mean to me

 **coolwhip:** its his brand

 **simonsays:** i just wanted something to DO

 **jaceplace:** fighting is something

 **simonsays:** i dont want your input anymore mister

 **simonsays:** HE

 **artoftheblade:** simon??????

 **coolwhip:** uh?

 **glitterboy:** do you need assistance

 **simonsays:** we’re going shopping????????

 **jaceplace:** shopping for what tho

 **artoftheblade:** thats sus

 **glitterboy:** what have we said about murdering people behind walmart, raphael

 **simonsays:** Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. -Raphael

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading!! not sure when i will update next i havent written anything ahead of time. why did i start writing fic during AP test season.


	5. mudkip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everyone! heres another update (pokemon themed if you couldnt tell) enjoy!

**simonsays:** GUYS

**jaceplace:** here we go again

**artoftheblade:** he lives!!

**glitterboy:** have you returned “alive” and well from your shopping trip

**simonsays:** yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**coolwhip:** whered you guys go 

**jaceplace:** i hope it was for clothes other than a nerd tshirt

**simonsays:** first of all,

**simonsays:** rude

**simonsays:** second of all,

**simonsays:** we went to target which is like the Epitome of nerd shirts thanks

**glitterboy:** i know for a fact raphael would rather die again than buy you another nerd shirt

**simonsays:** can we leave my fashion sense alone for like 5 seconds

**simonsays:** raph said he was tired of me complaining about being bored 

**bowboy:** arent we all

**simonsays:** listen,

**bowboy:** doesnt he hate being called raph

**simonsays:** what he doesnt know wont hurt him

**simonsays:** ,,,anyways he bought me pokemon moon to “keep me company”

**jaceplace:** so instead of a nerd shirt he bought a nerd game

**artoftheblade:** if he bought sun that wouldve been really funny

**simonsays:** he liked the color scheme of moon better

**glitterboy:** odd. He hasnt touched a gaming console in his life as far as i know

**simonsays:** WHAT

**simonsays:** HES OLDER THAN POKEMON HOW HAS HE NEVER PLAYED IT

**glitterboy:** perhaps you should introduce him to it. gently.

**jaceplace:** 100% hes gonna choose litten as a starter

**simonsays:** JACE YOURE A NERD TOO FUCK YOU

**jaceplace:** just because i know litten is the starter for every emo moody person ever doesnt mean im a nerd

**artoftheblade:** you chose litten didnt you

**jaceplace:** yep

**simonsays:** but yeah im gonna introduce him to alpha sapphire first 

**simonsays:** wait here he is now :D

**simonsays:** he agreed to let me show him stuff while we have our “chill time” after training

**artoftheblade:** what was your starter for sapphire

**simonsays:** mudkip duh

**jaceplace:** you cant just whip out your mudkip on the first date

**simonsays:** oh but i am

**artoftheblade:** SAVE YOUR MUDKIP FOR MARRIAGE 

**jaceplace:** ,,,,,

**glitterboy:** I KNEW IT

**coolwhip:** SIMON

**simonsays:** see you after training!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the two mudkip lines are actual quotes from my friends. see y'all after my ap history exam :P


	6. are you telling me to get smashed, mr wayland?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! a bit of a long chapter today i got carried away while writing it. ~malec chapter~ ;)

**bowboy left the conversation.**

**simonsays:** okay i didnt even do anything this time

 **artoftheblade:** ????

 **glitterboy:** not to worry, it was just me on alexander’s phone

 **coolwhip:** why are you one his phone…?

 **glitterboy:** i needed to ask you all about him without him seeing it

 **artoftheblade:** how’d you even get his phone in the first place isnt that like his --most guarded-- item ever

 **jaceplace:** you didnt think he did it all on his own

 **glitterboy:** yes jace thank you for distracting alexander. If clary hadnt banned me from using emojis i would be sending an eyeroll 

**artoftheblade:** it was excessive

 **coolwhip:** what did you want to ask us about alec

 **glitterboy:** well, first off i should tell you that he’s totally gay for me thanks

 **simonsays:** strong thesis statement 

**glitterboy:** so i wanted to ask him to go out for a pleasant evening 

**glitterboy:** but i know little to nothing about him since he Wont Talk To Me

 **coolwhip:** he tends to get flustered around you,,,

 **artoftheblade:** i guess he just decided to stop being around you rather than getting flustered??

 **glitterboy:** always playing hard to get

 **coolwhip:** never playing hard to get

 **glitterboy:** so what does alec like?????????

 **simonsays:** being snarky @ me

 **glitterboy:** while i too enjoy that i dont think we could make a date out of it

 **artoftheblade:** he likes archery obvs

 **coolwhip:** but how could you make a cute date out of archery

 **artoftheblade:** im sure magnus could find a way

 **glitterboy:** you have such confidence in me, biscuit

 **jaceplace:** just take him out for a bunch of drinks or something and get to know him

 **glitterboy:** are you telling me to get smashed, mr wayland?

 **simonsays:** thats actually a pretty good idea tho

 **artoftheblade:** he has them once in a while

 **jaceplace:** ive done literally nothing to deserve this

 **glitterboy:** i do think youre on to something 

**glitterboy:** drinks at the little bar where maia works? Maybe some food?

 **coolwhip:** you can play pool together

 **glitterboy:** if i werent so hot for your brother you would be my favorite lightwood

 **artoftheblade:** so when are you gonna ask him out?????

 **jaceplace:** he wont be home for at least another hour. Sent him to fight a demon

 **simonsays:** there arent any demons are there

 **jaceplace:** not a single one

 **coolwhip:** that gives you enough time to figure out the full plan and add him back to this convo without any suspicion 

**glitterboy:** i do hope this goes well

 **artoftheblade:** itll be perfect!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **simonsays:** aw their first date :’) they grow up so fast

 **glitterboy:** wish me luck children

 **glitterboy:** talk some when i add him back so we dont raise suspicion

**glitterboy added bowboy to the conversation.**

**glitterboy left the conversation.**

**simonsays:** why’d he leave????

 **artoftheblade:** alec usually screams about magnus in this chat

 **simonsays:** that makes sense

 **jaceplace:** magnus just left to act like he wasnt here planning shit. Alec should be back in 20 minutes

 **artoftheblade:** :)))))))

 **coolwhip:** what if he says no??????

 **jaceplace:** he wont

 **simonsays:** quick!!!! We’re supposed to talk about other stuff so he wont scroll up and see this!!!!!!

 **artoftheblade:** hows pokemon going

 **simonsays:** oh my GOD i love it so much????

 **jaceplace:** he definitely wont read past that

 **coolwhip:** ugh the suspense is killing me

 **simonsays:** listen let me have this time to yell about pokemon yeah?

 **simonsays:** popplio is so cute he looks so dumb but hes perfect and beautiful and litten is just LIT and rowlet is shaped like a friend

 **jaceplace:** its time

 **simonsays:** ominous

 **artoftheblade:** alecs back!

 **bowboy:** what

 **jaceplace:** how was the demon

 **bowboy:** nonexistent. 

**bowboy:** fuck u

 **simonsays:** strong language there pal

 **coolwhip:** alec theres a visitor waiting for you in the training area

 **bowboy:** hhhhh

 **jaceplace:** bowboy has left the nest 

**simonsays:** i wonder who it could be :?

 **jaceplace:** giving u that play by play again

 **jaceplace:** magnus is asking him right now we just cut straight to the point!!!!

 **jaceplace:** i cant read either of their faces

 **artoftheblade:** ????

 **bowboy:** FUCK

 **simonsays:** the return

 **coolwhip:** whats up bro bro

 **bowboy:** I HAVE A DATE AND YOU PEOPLE ALREADY KNOW ABOUT IT I BET FUK U

 **jaceplace:** when is it tho

 **bowboy:** ….

 **bowboy:** tonight

 **artoftheblade:** :D

 **simonsays:** yes!!!!!!!!!

 **jaceplace:** dont stay out too late young man

 **bowboy:** shut up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed! i have yet another ap test this week so update time is unknown atm. soon tho


	7. im a good person

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello and welcome back!! testing is done for now and updates will resume for the next few weeks! heres another malec-ish chapter :^)

**simonsays:** wonder how the dates going 

**artoftheblade:** someone give me details

 **jaceplace:** alec is probably being super gay rn

 **bowboy:** youre nnot wrong

 **simonsays:** is that

 **simonsays:** oh my god

 **simonsays:** a typo by THE alec lightwood?????

 **bowboy:** shut your hell mouth

 **simonsays:** wha

 **coolwhip:** alec how much are you drinking

 **bowboy:** listen,, beer is nasty 

**jaceplace:** #offended

 **bowboy:** so magnus ordered me his favorite drink

 **artoftheblade:** that explains it

 **coolwhip:** those things are strong

 **bowboy:** magnus is playing pool

 **bowboy:** did no one tell him i already kno how to play

 **simonsays:** take advantage of this and WIN

 **bowboy:** he looks #shocked

 **simonsays:** why is he using #

 **jaceplace:** somewhat intoxicated alec is more #hip than normal alec

 **simonsays:** y’all,,,,,,i want chocolate milk

 **artoftheblade:** dont we all

 **coolwhip:** do you guys think a chocolate milk cocktail exists

 **bowboy:** i can ask magnus

 **jaceplace:** dude that would be so cool

 **bowboy:** hes going to go ask the bartender

 **jaceplace:** pls say yes bartender

 **bowboy:** he left me alone in a bar??? No thank you?

 **artoftheblade:** whats the worst that could happen

 **simonsays:** so many things

 **bowboy:** DJSHKDSHGKSH

 **jaceplace:** uh?

 **bowboy:** IM NSJHDSH

 **bowboy:** DO I NOT LOOK G A Y

 **simonsays:** i mean to me you just look scary/tall

 **jaceplace:** what the hap is fuckening

 **artoftheblade:** give. us. details.

 **bowboy:** magnus is back god fuckening bless

 **bowboy:** ill tell you laterr

 **simonsays:** well now i just want to know Now

 **coolwhip:** c’mon alec what happened

 **bowboy:** this girl came over to me and tried to get me to go home with her (insert jace wink)

 **jaceplace:** djkhskhgklshlsghjlf

 **coolwhip:** ohm y go d

 **artoftheblade:** did she not see you were there with magnus????????

 **simonsays:** gjkhskj what did you tell her

 **bowboy:** i said no im with a dude lmao

 **jaceplace:** speaking of, get back to ur dude, dude

 **bowboy:** im a good person i dont deserve to be mistaken for a heterosexual

 **simonsays:** word

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading and dont forget to comment/leave kudos! find me on tumblr or twitter- pnkbat


	8. dinocroc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to another chapter! lets play a game: guess the quotes said by real people (answers at the end)

**simonsays:** good morning everyone i have News

**artoftheblade:** its 7pm

**simonsays:** clary,

**coolwhip:** let him have his jokes

**jaceplace:** whats the news

**simonsays:** i declared tonight clan movie night and raph Actually Agreed

**bowboy:** why would he do that

**simonsays:** i even get to pick the movie!!!

**jaceplace:** oh no

**artoftheblade:** what syfy channel original is it this time

**jaceplace:** im going with

**jaceplace:** dinocroc v supergator

**simonsays:** YOU KNOW ME SO WELL!!!!!!!!!!!

**jaceplace:** divorce raphael immediately im the one for you

**simonsays:** WE’RE NOT MARRIED, JACE

**artoftheblade:** just elope already GOD simon

**coolwhip:** he probably wont elope after he sees this movie nows your chance

**simonsays:** bitch!!!! i said Clan Movie Night its not a date

**jaceplace:** but u wish it was

**coolwhip:** no one is going to like the movie,

**simonsays:** fuck them then i get dinocroc all to myself

**bowboy:** its a garbage movie dude

**simonsays:** everything has the potential to be garbage

**artoftheblade:** thats weirdly inspirational

**coolwhip:** um alec not to change the subject but did we ever find out the status of the chocolate milk alcoholic beverage???

**bowboy:** it exists

**jaceplace:** fuck yEah

**simonsays:** YEET guess what else im doing tonight

**jaceplace:** raphael

**simonsays:** …

**jaceplace:** i walked into that one i accept it

**artoftheblade:** im inviting magnus over for drinks alec if you dont mind

**bowboy:** listen

**bowboy:** it was one (1) date

**artoftheblade:** just elope already GOD alec

**jaceplace:** i’ll officiate the wedding

**bowboy:** fuck you 

**coolwhip:** raphael &simon and alec&magnus can have a double wedding !

**simonsays:** why would you do this to me

**artoftheblade:** Everyone Is Getting Married

**coolwhip:** speaking of,

**coolwhip:** clary would you be a dear and go out on a date with me

**artoftheblade:** fuck yea

**bowboy:** clary would you be a dear and fistfight me behind the institute

**simonsays:** sdkgjhsjhdhg

**coolwhip:** cool it alec im allowed to date who i want

**jaceplace:** izzy youre the only one dating someone in remotely the same age range 

**coolwhip:** oh ym go d

**simonsays:** IM NOT DATING RAPH

**jaceplace:** go watch dinocroc

**simonsays:** i already am

**simonsays:** and raph’s enjoying it thanks

**artoftheblade:** they can still elope after all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! kudos/comments are appreciated <3
> 
> real quotes by my friends: "divorce [raphael] immediately im the one for you"  
> "fuck them then i get dinocroc all to myself"  
> "everything has the potential to be garbage"


	9. scrubnerd

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello welcome back i finally remembered to update this....its summer now i have no excuses. theres also a special reminder for you all written into this part. this chapter is dedicated to ao3 user scalira.

**simonsays:** hey guys

 **bowboy:** what the fuck do you want scrubnerd

 **simonsays:** first of all

 **simonsays:** scrubnerd????

 **simonsays:** second of all

 **simonsays:** chill?????

 **jaceplace:** hes in a bad mood

 **simonsays:** couldnt tell

 **coolwhip:** someone told him he should marry clary sjhgsdgss

 **simonsays:** W HAT

 **bowboy:** i hate straight people

 **simonsays:** KJSHSKJADJKGHD DO THEY NOT K N O W

 **jaceplace:** why does your existence happen like that

 **artoftheblade:** god alec dont you know youre too tall to be gay

 **bowboy:** STO P

 **simonsays added glitterboy to the conversation.**

**glitterboy:** the return

 **bowboy:** simon im going to verbally curbstomp you

 **simonsays:** fkjhdgjdh

 **glitterboy:** hello dearest what have the straights done today

 **coolwhip:** oh boy

 **glitterboy:** scrubnerd ?

 **bowboy:** it was the first thing that came to mind

 **bowboy:** im going to wear a rainbow cape everywhere

 **artoftheblade:** the only color in your wardrobe

 **bowboy:** h hey,,

 **glitterboy:** i support that fashion decision

 **bowboy:** thanks mags

 **simonsays:** AW 

**artoftheblade:** therye 5 bucks on amazon

 **bowboy:** noted ✔️

 **jaceplace:** oh my god he used an emoji

 **bowboy:** just a reminder im Gay dont tell me to marry clary

 **artoftheblade:** i second this

 **coolwhip:** i third this

 **glitterboy:** strongly support this 

**simonsays:** sdkghfghdjfgldhsjkd oh my god

 **simonsays:** you know what this chat needs

 **jaceplace:** alcohol

**simonsays named the conversation: gay™**

**bowboy:** oh perfect

 **jaceplace:** nice

 **simonsays:** wait

 **simonsays:** jace youre

 **jaceplace:** bi *dabs*

 **glitterboy:** welcome to the club

 **jaceplace:** thanks bro

 **artoftheblade:** who taught him what dab meant

 **simonsays:** sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "im going to verbally curbstomp you" and "what the fuck do you want scrubnerd" are the two irl quotes of this chapter. kudos and comments are appreciated :)


	10. rowlet is shaped like a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SORRY ITS BEEN MORE THAN A MONTH I JUST HAVENT BEEN IN A WRITING MOOD BUT HERES A BIG GAY CHAPTER I LOVE YOU ALL

**simonsays:** guess whos going on a daaaaaaaate

**artoftheblade:** omg

**bowboy:** me n mags bye bitches

**simonsays:** h hey,,,hey man,,,,

**glitterboy:** wait simon with who….?

**simonsays:** a certain grumpy vampire  >:D

**jaceplace:** theres no way,,,,

**coolwhip:** i totally called it

**glitterboy:** you know what this calls for?

**simonsays:** im scared

**glitterboy added raphael.santiago to the conversation.**

**simonsays:** why would you do this to me i have done nothing wrong ever in my life

**raphael.santiago:** I’m not grumpy.

**glitterboy:** i have known you a solid 50 years and you so are 

**raphael.santiago:** I thought you would be on my team, Magnus.

**glitterboy:** :)

**raphael.santiago:** JACE

**jaceplace:** oh no

**raphael.santiago:** You’re the one responsible for Dinocroc vs Supergator?

**jaceplace:** im not sorry at all in the slightest

**raphael.santiago:** That was a horrible movie and I had to live through the seventies.

**artoftheblade:** oh my god

**simonsays:** rapha :((((

**glitterboy:** shut up 

**glitterboy:** he lets you call him that

**raphael.santiago:** I do NOT.

**simonsays:** rapha pls 

**raphael.santiago:** .

**glitterboy:** thats the cutest thing ive ever seen besides alexander

**bowboy:** thats

**raphael.santiago:** Shut up Bane.

**coolwhip:** oh hes pullin out the last names now kids

**simonsays:** rapha youre so boring through text

**raphael.santiago:** What does that mean?

**simonsays:** Look at me I’m Raphael Santiago with my Perfect Punctuation and my Good Spelling.

**raphael.santiago:** … 

**raphael.santiago:** would you prefer

**raphael.santiago changed his name to santiagay.**

**simonsays:** i fucking screamed

**glitterboy:** the straight population of this groupchat remains at 0!

**santiagay:** is this what you wanted

**simonsays:** yes 

**artoftheblade:** are alec and magnus still out

**glitterboy:** he wanted to be home by 10:30 so no

**artoftheblade:** thats so early and sad

**bowboy:** wh

**jaceplace:** you were only out for like an hour what gay hijinx could occur???

**bowboy:** is 10:30 a heterosexual time did i miss something

**santiagay:** magnus can i come over and we can talk about our annoying boyfriends

**glitterboy:** yes

**simonsays:** HEY

**coolwhip:** BOYFRIEND

**simonsays:** SHIT

**jaceplace:** SIMON WHAT 

**coolwhip:** totally called it

**jaceplace:** simon you were supposed to divorce raphael for me we bonded over litten

**simonsays:** WE’RE NOT MARRIED 

**santiagay:** rowlet is shaped like a friend

**simonsays:** WE’RE KIND OF MARRIED

**glitterboy:** ugh boyfriends.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> irl quote: "is 10:30 a heterosexual time?"  
> kudos and comments appreciated :)  
> find me on tumblr: @glitterbboy


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